hello? hello?

she slices my thumb because i can’t do it myself. they call it blood magic, but she calls it love. i open her cabinets, letting in the settling dust while the sugar-laced tobacco crawls down my throat in spirals, waking me to the sound of distant screams & strangulation. her hand on my jaw is haunting. licorice twists & i’m no longer sweet. a bitterness breathes clean air into the closed-up apartment & i left an earring between her bed & the nightstand. caught. but better caught than trapped in the werewolf teeth ripping wafer from taffy. the haze keeps me & i am a puddle. i don’t believe he didn’t know what he was doing or that my roommate didn’t hear my call crack lightning bolts, cemetery rain – forgiving wind. bound by circumstance, inherited in raw echoes chasing another cavern back to the dawn of time. i watched my intestines spill onto hardwood floor & all she cared about was spaceships in ultraviolet shell casings. rubber band snap & shredded ephemeral peace doves. the fire escape collapsed & the landlord held guns to our ears. i pulled the trigger on your dagger. you always wanted me split in half with the telephone operator’s voice buzzing from my core. hello? hello? are you there? are you here? have you salted the sidewalks yet? have you cured the ailment in your esophagus? remain in the asphalt, loose & shiny & swallowing the days you can’t take back. undo. i am still here with pancreas in hand doing my dance like god even cares. hello? hello? are you there?