clenching (song)

TRIGGER WARNING: SA, PTSD

Lyrics to a song that I will eventually record :)

Boa constrictors in my rib bones

Pressurize my lungs like a homemade atom bomb.

Cigarette nectar comes in on tiptoes.

Here’s some relief, but there’s still no calm.

Cinderblocks stacked up on my chest plate

Slow crushing my mind like yellow wallpaper

Cavernous screaming flies out with sharp hate.

There’s no change, try again later.

And this is how it’s been.

Seven years all in this skin.

It’s open season in my body.

Battlegrounds where he goddamn touched me.

I just can’t let me be.

Now I’m flying off the fucking handle.

Brimstone where there should be candles

Cuz no one sees me suffocating.

Head in sand eliminating

Who I was before gut wrenching.

Now I’m stuck here, skeleton clenching.

Steel jackhammers in between my teeth

Massacre my gums with ruthless grinding gears.

Violent, tense fists fly so far beneath.

Don’t fall for the lie, no peace in the years.

White-hot scissor blades pressed against my thigh.

Sizzle the tender flesh like a ribeye.

Rusted razor blades splitting at my wrist

With all the essence of my first kiss.

And this is how it’s been.

Seven years in broken skin.

It’s open season in my body.

Battlegrounds where he goddamn touched me.

I just can’t let me be.

Now I’m flying off the fucking handle.

Brimstone where there should be candles

Cuz no one sees me suffocating.

Head in sand eliminating

Who I was before gut wrenching.

Now I’m stuck here, skeleton clenching.

My veins and arteries are forming armies

Every blood cell in riot gear

I can’t be held the way I hold my fear

So now I’m digging down in the trenches

Building moats as my skeleton clenches.

It’s open season in my body.

Battlegrounds where he goddamn touched me.

I just can’t let me be.

Now I’m flying off the fucking handle.

Brimstone where there should be candles

Cuz no one sees me suffocating.

Head in sand eliminating

Who I was before gut wrenching.

Now I’m stuck here, skeleton clenching.